Big Sky Postseason Awards Spectacular
We take you now to the first Big Sky Awards banquet, honoring the top players and coaches in the Big Sky Conference Wilkinson Season 119. Set at the Holiday Inn Express Sierra Conference Room in Cheney, Washington.
Welcome guests and players. A special thanks to the Holiday Inn Express staff here in beautiful Cheney, Washington. A round of applause for the biscuits and gravy, folks……<clap><cla.><c…>
We now bring you the awards for the top players and staff in the Big Sky Conference for Wilkinson Season 119.
We begin with the J Willard Marriott Award for the Assistant Coach of the year……The winner of this prestigious award goes to…Kendrick Stokes from Weber State! Coach Stokes flew far and wide to find as many high potential recruits for the Wildcats and it paid off as the Wildcats grew 24 ratings points and another 15 positional growth points.
J Willard Marriott will now present the award to Coach Stokes. Coach Stokes is handed a complimentary one night stay at the Fargo, North Dakota Marriott! Sorry Coach Stokes, there is no indoor pool or breakfast buffet, enjoy!
We now move to the “Weird” Al Yankovic Special Teams player of the year award….The Big Sky special teams player that will receive the award is…..Melvin Moody from Sam Houston State! Moody scored 191 points for the Bearkats this season.
Weird Al presents his special gift to Moody……It a home version of Minesweeper! Oh, the hours of fun Melvin Moody is going to have.
Third on our list for the Big Sky Conference players of the year is the Don Henley Defensive Back of the Year. There was some stiff competition at the DB position this season, but one man stood out. The winner of the Defensive Back of the Year is….David Garner from Texas State! David picked off 10 passes and had another 10 passes defensed for the Bearcats.
Don Henley is in the house here in Cheyney to present David with his award. He is handing David Garner two tickets to the Eagles…….cover band Heartache Tonight along with backstage passes on their tour of Nebraska!
The Billy Gunn Linebacker of the Year award is up next here. Many players had outstanding seasons here in the Big Sky, however, there can be only one winner and that winner is……in a very tight vote it’s Nathan Peck from Northern Arizona! Billy Gunn presents Peck with some used spandex from one of his wrestling matches. Ugh, unwashed used spandex. We’ll need some help from the Holiday Inn Express staff to remove Billy’s stink...stand by folks…….
We now move to the Joe Anglim Defensive Lineman of the Year award and in a runaway victory the award is presented to Bruce Sloan from Cal Poly! Joe Anglim from Survivor is here to present Sloan with the award, which is a quiet dining experience, featuring meal worms and tree bark!
Now we move onto the offensive side of the ball here at the Big Sky Awards Spectacular, beginning with the Brian Doyle Murray Offensive Lineman of the Year. This year’s winner of the offensive lineman of the year goes to…Joseph Thompson from Cal Poly! Brian Doyle Murray is presenting Joseph Thompson with a one year membership in the jelly of the month club! It’s the gift that keeps giving the year round.
Onto the Holly Madison Tight End of the Year award, this is a very special gift for the winner of this award. This year’s recipient of the Tight End of the year goes to James Childers from Texas State! Ms Madison presents James with the special gift of a Playboy photo shoot! I hope James is not shy as he will be participating in the shoot complete with airbrushing.
Next we have the Craig Kilborn Wide Receiver of the Year here in the Big Sky Conference. We had many deserving candidates, but only player stood above the rest and that player is Robert Underwood from Northern Arizona! As the winner of the Wide Receiver of the year, Mr Kilborn is going to escort Robert on a studio tour. No, not ESPN, not the Daily Show and not the Late Late Show, but of KBKZ in Bozeman, Montana.
As we move down the list, the awards get bigger and here we are at the Colin Cowherd Running Back of the Year Award. It really came down to two very deserving candidates, but the Award goes to Anthony Zeigler of Northern Arizona! Colin has given Anthony 20 hours of Colin’s greatest spoken word hits for him to enjoy.
We have the Tom Hanks Quarterback of the Year Award next. This was a very tight race among the voters, but the winner of this seasons’ Tom Hanks Award is Theodore Rosales from Portland State! Can you believe Tom Hanks is going to give Theodore the school bus that was in the 1984 feature film Bachelor Party? That’s why we come these special events.
Before we present the player of the year, we must acknowledge the Marvin Lewis Coach of the Year. All coaches faced adversity this season, but robust_trex from Northern Arizona stood out among the crowd, winning the Big Sky Conference championship. Coach Lewis gives coach robust_trex a big bear hug and hands him two vouchers to the Super Bowl…when the Bengals get there. Coach robust_trex won’t be waiting long, that’s for certain folks.
And our final award of the evening is the Big Sky Conference Player of the Year award, presented by none other than Texas State alum and former President Lyndon Johnson. The special player that will receive the award for player of the year in the Big Sky Conference for season 119 is………Thomas Cooley from Cal Poly! This award is very prestigious and the former President delivers an award that is worthy of such and honor, a one-way ticket to Vietnam!!!
There you have it folks, thank for tuning into the season 119 Big Sky Conference awards. The gifts only get better from here, folks. Try the veal and don’t forget to tip your servers!
